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Poem: A modern St Andrew’s Day - Wemyss's Appalling Hobby:
From the Party Guilty of Committing 'Gate of Ivory, Gate of Horn'
wemyss
wemyss
Poem: A modern St Andrew’s Day

A modern St Andrew’s Day

 

 

 

It’s ‘fook aff, Jimmy’, ‘Aw-haw-hey’,

And ‘English oot, th’ bastards’,

It’s Alex Salmond’s realm the day:

‘We’ll no hae English masters!’

It’s ‘git stoock in’ and ‘come awa’ –’

And a’ devolve the faster.

 

Aye, it’s ‘hoots, mon, th’ roundabout!’ and ‘ye’ll hae had yer tay’,

In the modern, deep-fried Scotland on the New St Andrew’s Day.

 

It’s ‘gie us bawbies’ a’ the nicht

And ‘Sassenachs gae hame’

And even now, ye ken, wi’ fricht,

‘Auld Thatcher’s yit tae blame’!

George Galloway’s oor shinin’ licht,

Wee Adam Smith oor shame.

 

Aye, it’s ‘hoots, mon, th’ roundabout!’ and ‘ye’ll hae had yer tay’,

In the modern, deep-fried Scotland on the New St Andrew’s Day.

 

The Nats are a’ in power the day,

Red Clydeside’s born agin!

Tak’ yer dichty-watter airs awa’

Tae Morningside, see, hen?

Yer Union’s aff and gang a-gley,

Noo SNP’s come in.

 

Aye, it’s ‘hoots, mon, th’ roundabout!’ and ‘ye’ll hae had yer tay’,

In the modern, deep-fried Scotland on the New St Andrew’s Day.

 

Whit Gordon Broon? Whit nation-state?

D’ye ken the Turra Coo?

Jist ask us noo tae pay oor rate:

Ye’ll wush ye’d spared yer sough.

We’ll tak’ a dram or twa o’ hate

Tae drink, and see us through.

 

Aye, it’s ‘hoots, mon, th’ roundabout!’ and ‘ye’ll hae had yer tay’,

In the modern, deep-fried Scotland on the New St Andrew’s Day.

 

Here’s a toast tae Ned and party,

Tae Segna an’ the lasses,

True Scots, a’ pissed and clarty,

Passed oot amang their glasses:

Oor new paradise, ain party,

And transcending a’ the classes.

 

For it’s ‘hoots, mon, th’ roundabout!’ and ‘ye’ll hae had yer tay’,

In the modern, deep-fried Scotland on the New St Andrew’s Day.

 

 

 

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Comments
tree_and_leaf From: tree_and_leaf Date: December 2nd, 2007 08:17 am (UTC) (Link)
Good Lord, the Turra Coo.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: December 2nd, 2007 06:24 pm (UTC) (Link)

Aye.

After all, I spent many a summer in Turriff. And Elgin. And points in between.
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