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An unsatisfactory correspondence - Wemyss's Appalling Hobby:
From the Party Guilty of Committing 'Gate of Ivory, Gate of Horn'
wemyss
wemyss
An unsatisfactory correspondence

 

An unsatisfactory correspondence

_____________________________________

GMW Wemyss

_____________________________________

Clearwater Tonks, Solicitors, to S. Meyer, Summit Entertainment LLC, Little, Brown, and others, 15 July 2010:

 

Dear Sirs:

 

Andromeda (late Mrs Edw) Tonks (née Black); on behalf of Edw Lupin; the Black Family Trust and Black Estates (Captain the right Hon. HJ Potter); Mrs Lucius Malfoy (Narcissa Malfoy, née Black); Mr Draco Malfoy; and others

 

We represent the widow of the late Edw Tonks, Esq., Andromeda Tonks, née Black; her grandson, Edw Lupin; the Black Estate (Captain the right Hon. HJ Potter); Mrs Lucius Malfoy (Narcissa Malfoy, née Black); her son, Mr Draco Malfoy; and others of the Black family as their interests may appear, in relation to your publication and cinema adaptation of several writings that depict members of the family, or characters sharing their name, as Werewolves, which have been but lately brought to our and our clients’ attention.

 

This letter is written in part pursuant to the pre-action protocol on defamation.  The purpose of this letter is to notify you of our clients’ claims.  This letter has important legal implications and we strongly urge that you pass this to your insurer or man of business for advice on your response.

 

[…]

 

The publication of these offensive and defamatory representations has naturally caused our clients considerable distress and embarrassment: the more so as, firstly, they are a very ancient and distinguished family with a high public profile, and, secondly, young Edw Lupin will shortly be beginning school at Hogwarts.  His mother, the late Nymphadora Tonks (Mrs Remus Lupin), and his father, the late Professor RJ Lupin, were recognised and decorated heroes of the late War, and the offence is further augmented in that Captain Potter OM, Royal Corps of Aurors, himself a member of the Black family through several lines of descent, acts for the Black Family Trust and the Black Estates.  Characterisation of the Black family as a family of Werewolves, in any of their branches of kinship or lines of descent, is inherently defamatory and an occasion of actual harm and damages to young Mr Lupin in particular, however he or Captain Potter may feel w/r/t Werewolves’ Rights and no matter how sympathetically the characters in your publications may be intended to be portrayed.  Accordingly we invite you to agree the following:

 

[…]

 

We further invite you to provide the following:

 

[…]

 

Failure to provide the information and undertakings set out above will leave our clients with no alternative redress but to institute proceedings against you, severally and jointly. We look forward to receiving your substantive response by return Owl.

 

[…]

 

Yours faithfully,

 

Clearwater Tonks

_____________________________________

Clearwater Tonks, Solicitors, to S. Meyer, Summit Entertainment LLC, Little, Brown, and others, 29 July 2010:

 

Dear Sirs:

 

Andromeda (late Mrs Edw) Tonks (née Black); on behalf of Edw Lupin; the Black Family Trust and Black Estates (Captain the right Hon. HJ Potter); Mrs Lucius Malfoy (Narcissa Malfoy, née Black); Mr Draco Malfoy; and others

 

Mr and Mrs Amos Diggory; the Executor of the Estate of Cedric Diggory

 

On behalf of the Black family, we write to express our grave concern that we have received no response to ours of the 15th instant, and that, in fact, you have persisted in the publication and dissemination of the false and defamatory characterisations referenced therein.

 

We now write as well on behalf of Mr and Mrs Amos Diggory and Mr Diggory as the Executor of the Estate of Cedric Diggory, his late son, a casualty of the late War, who have lately discovered your publications.  You will recognise that the portrayal of Mr Diggory, through a character unmistakably and immediately recognisably modelled upon him, as a Vampire, is defamatory as a matter of law.  We must therefore insist that you immediately undertake as follows:

 

[…]

 

Yours faithfully,

 

Clearwater Tonks

_____________________________________

Morag MacDougal, Director of Public Denunciations, to S. Meyer, Summit Entertainment LLC, Little, Brown, and others, 14 August 2010:

 

Director of Public Denunciations, Dorsetshire House (West Entrance),

Plea Inn Bar, Diagon, London WIZ1.

 

Dear Sirs,

 

Being seized of the matter by reason of representations made by Clearwater Tonks, Solicitors, and having it in command from HM Principal Secretary of State for Magical Affairs, I write, upon consultation with the Tally Solicitor and Department, to call your attention to the provisions of the Act of 1999 (Defence of the Magical Realm Act) as regards the depiction of Gellert Grindelwald.  Additionally, the depiction (sympathetic and otherwise) of Dark creatures is governed by statute law, the pertinent parts of which I append.

 

I would direct your attention as follows:

 

[…]

 

The schedule of penalties and remedies appended will show as follows:

 

[…]

 

Yours faithfully,

 

Morag MacDougal QS

Director of Public Denunciations

_____________________________________

Communication from Captain HJ Potter OM, Royal Corps of Aurors, to S. Meyer, Summit Entertainment LLC, Little, Brown, and others, 31 August 2010:

 

Right, you lot.  Sod this for a lark.  The Black – Werewolf rubbish is one thing.  Pissing on Cedric Diggory’s memory from a great height is bloody vile, but it’s not precisely my snidget to seek.  When you start in on celebrating Grindelwald, however, and ignoring the Ministry, you’re mine.  Aid to the civil power and All That.  And did I mention that Teddy’s my godson?  By arrangement with the Americans, I’ll be in your offices what time you receive this Owl.  Don’t bother trying to run: I shall find you.  Besides, I’ve warded the building where you’re all having your con.  I do hope you’ve explanations that will satisfy me.

_____________________________________

Finite

_____________________________________

 

 


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Comments
(Deleted comment)
wemyss From: wemyss Date: December 30th, 2009 10:41 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank you.

I liked it also.
tudorpot From: tudorpot Date: December 30th, 2009 04:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
"your mine" LOL
wemyss From: wemyss Date: December 30th, 2009 10:41 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank you, my dear.

I have terrible fun.
noeon From: noeon Date: December 30th, 2009 05:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh Harry, you make such a *good* wrath of God. Or is it god of wrath? Who cares!
wemyss From: wemyss Date: December 30th, 2009 10:40 pm (UTC) (Link)

He does, doesn't he.

Thank you, I'm greatly obliged.
noeon From: noeon Date: December 31st, 2009 12:17 am (UTC) (Link)

Campy afterthoughts

I did omit "...you great butch thing, you."

Yes. He does.

pathology_doc From: pathology_doc Date: December 30th, 2009 06:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
Awesome. Well done, sir.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: December 30th, 2009 10:39 pm (UTC) (Link)

Ta, lad.

Thankee.
soonest_mended From: soonest_mended Date: December 30th, 2009 07:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
This absolutely thrilled my heart. GET 'EM HARRY
soonest_mended From: soonest_mended Date: December 30th, 2009 07:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
Now that I'm done wriggling with delight, I can think of a few souls who've recently switched fandoms and desperately need to read this. Mind if I link it in my LJ?
wemyss From: wemyss Date: December 30th, 2009 10:39 pm (UTC) (Link)

You need never ask.

I publish, it's open.

And thank you for yr kind words.
fpb From: fpb Date: December 30th, 2009 09:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
He he he he he he. That was a total delight. Only a canonical problem: in spite of all the CENSORED CENSORED fanfics that feature "Lord Potter", and the like, JKR has stated as a fact that the wizarding world has no hereditary titles of nobility. So the Rt Hon for Harry is rather non-canonical, unless we accept that he is the heir of a Muggle peerage through some distant relation.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: December 30th, 2009 10:38 pm (UTC) (Link)

Not at all.

Appointed to the Magical Privy Council what time he was appointed OM.
pathology_doc From: pathology_doc Date: December 30th, 2009 11:20 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Not at all.

In addition to which, he is after all a British citizen and the Muggle Prime Minister would almost certainly have been informed of the end of the war (and possibly the manner of its conclusion) just as he was informed of the start.

Harry is thus eligible for a Knighthood in military orders or even a peerage, and might conceivably have been awarded one (given the impact of the Wizarding War on the Muggle world) even if the facts surrounding the decoration had to be suppressed.
fpb From: fpb Date: December 31st, 2009 08:14 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Not at all.

the Muggle Prime Minister would almost certainly have been informed of the end of the war (and possibly the manner of its conclusion)

You may not know this, but our esteemed host wrote a couple of elegant fics on that very subject.

sgt_majorette From: sgt_majorette Date: December 31st, 2009 02:37 am (UTC) (Link)

Sparklosis: Millennial Plague?

Having Dame'd and knighted practically every person who danced a lead in Swan Lake in the Seventies, surely HM would have something in her stash for Our Harry.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: January 2nd, 2010 07:38 pm (UTC) (Link)

One shd hope.

Indeed one shd.
ewinfic From: ewinfic Date: December 31st, 2009 03:50 am (UTC) (Link)
I am speechless with admiration.

*wild applause*

WELL DONE. :D
wemyss From: wemyss Date: January 2nd, 2010 07:39 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank, you very much indeed.

You're very kind to say so.
20 comments or Leave a comment