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WWN Home Service Presents... - Wemyss's Appalling Hobby:
From the Party Guilty of Committing 'Gate of Ivory, Gate of Horn'
WWN Home Service Presents...
A brief excerpt from the finale of this season of I’m Sorry, I’m Not on the Floo:
[ANNOUNCER] ‘We present I’m Sorry, I’m Not on the Floo, the healing potion for exposure to panel games.

‘At the demi-virginal is Myron Wagtail, and your chairman is Stubby Boardman.’
‘As I noted, the ever-lovely Ivy is not with us today: she is spending time with a rowing blue who is her new beau. And stroke. And cox. As the lovely Ivy is off this week – more so than usual, really – we are joined by the bounteous Lars … behind me. Lars tells me that he has decided, at last, to apply to become a naturalised British subject, and has been studying for the new exams and learning about our politics. In this, he has been greatly helped by a young member of the Wizengamot, who is quite gaily showing him the ropes, and some handcuffs, and has even had him to a member’s tea and for drinks on the terrace. Lars was fascinated by the history of the Moot and its Muggle counterpart, but was sad that even at a drinks party for politicians, he was unable, though plied with numerous Pyms, to find a really satisfactory Hampden.
‘It was good of Lars to join us and stand in for the lovely Ivy; as you know, he is kept very busy with his owning and managing a number of successful and elegant B&Bs; and cottages on the coast between Brighton and Poove. I’m sorry, that’s “Brighton and Hove” … not that it matters, really.
‘Fortunately, Lars was already called here Oop North on business, and was thus available to fill in. For Ivy. As scorer. With his experience in providing … hospitality for pay, Lars has been approached about a new business, one providing hampers and waypoint catering-on-demand for Wizarding hill-walkers and Apparators in the Pennines. We’re very grateful that he has taken the time to assist us during his negotiations for Fell Eating Partners, Ltd….’

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9 comments or Leave a comment
woman_ironing From: woman_ironing Date: March 19th, 2006 12:51 pm (UTC) (Link)

Mighty Rhyl

WTF? Oh! Just a minute ... LOL!
wemyss From: wemyss Date: March 19th, 2006 04:42 pm (UTC) (Link)

Just you wait for 'Through the Wood'....

This week, Oliver Wood finds that Lucius-and-his-friend-Ginger have opened a new (and, of course, bijou) apothecary shop, Bona Dooberie.
tree_and_leaf From: tree_and_leaf Date: March 20th, 2006 09:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
And we've just received a howler from a Mrs Basket, of North Wales. She writes 'Dear Miss Warbeck, I would like to complain in the strongest possible terms about the lyrics of your latest song. Even the ghoul in the attic was shocked...'
wemyss From: wemyss Date: March 20th, 2006 10:39 pm (UTC) (Link)

Decrepit, dirty, and dull, ghouls. Now, let's meet the teams.


This is too much fun, really.
nineveh_uk From: nineveh_uk Date: March 21st, 2006 11:28 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Decrepit, dirty, and dull, ghouls. Now, let's meet the teams.

Ah, I can hear it now, “A Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love” sung to the tune of “Someone’s Bent my Broomsitck”.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: March 21st, 2006 06:18 pm (UTC) (Link)

Magic can't fix everything.

Which brings us to Myron Wagtail at the demi-virginal.
la_localfreak From: la_localfreak Date: March 21st, 2006 07:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
:D *glomping and dragging you off again*

:D very, very apt!
wemyss From: wemyss Date: March 21st, 2006 11:50 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank you.

Glomp away, but I'll pass on the drag.

… and so, as the Neville Longbottom of time blows up the cauldron of eternity, and the Severus Snape of destiny takes points from the Gryffindor House of fate, I notice that it’s the end of the show, and indeed of this series, a sensation akin to finding that the Dementor under the bed was actually just an old cloak, three Doxies, and a few dust-boggarts.
la_localfreak From: la_localfreak Date: March 22nd, 2006 08:24 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Thank you.

*grinning madly*
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