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Attention All Apparating... - Wemyss's Appalling Hobby:
From the Party Guilty of Committing 'Gate of Ivory, Gate of Horn'
wemyss
wemyss
Attention All Apparating...
THE MAGICAL TRANSPORTATION FORECAST ISSUED BY THE NEPH OFFICE, ON BEHALF OF THE OFFSHORE AND COAST-AUROR AGENCY, AT 1130 ON THURSDAY 23 MARCH 2006

THERE ARE WARNINGS OF GALES IN ST ALDHELM SCILLY AND NELSON

THE GENERAL SYNOPSIS AT 0600
LOW CORUNNA 999 EXPECTED NELSON 1003 BY 0600 TOMORROW. LOW SKAFTAROS 1020 EXPECTED BRENDAN 1008 BY SAME TIME

THE AREA FORECASTS FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS

AZKABAN NORTH KARMOY SOUTH KARMOY
NORTH OR NORTHWEST 4 OR 5, INCREASING 6 AT TIMES. SNOW SHOWERS. GOOD, BUT POOR IN SHOWERS. LIGHT ICING IN AZKABAN WHERE LAST REMNANTS OF DEMENTORS ARE PRESENT

NORSE MORAY TAY LINDISFARNE BEATTY SKAGERRAK HELIGOLAND
NORTH OR NORTHWEST 4 OR 5, INCREASING 6 AT TIMES. WINTRY SHOWERS, BUT FAIR IN TAY AND LINDISFARNE. MODERATE OR GOOD

THE WASH DOWNS
NORTH OR NORTHEAST 4 OR 5, OCCASIONALLY 6 IN SOUTHEAST DOWNS. FAIR. GOOD

FORELAND SELSEY ST ALDHELM SCILLY
EAST OR NORTHEAST 5 TO 7, OCCASIONALLY GALE 8 IN ST ALDHELM AND
SCILLY. RAIN AT TIMES. MAINLY GOOD

NORTH NELSON
EAST BACKING NORTHEAST 5 TO 7, OCCASIONALLY GALE 8 IN NORTH, BECOMING CYCLONIC IN SOUTH. RAIN. MODERATE OR GOOD

SOUTH NELSON
SOUTHWEST 4 VEERING WEST 5 TO 7. SHOWERS. GOOD

SOUTH CORUNNA
WEST OR NORTHWEST 4 OR 5, OCCASIONALLY 6 IN SOUTHEAST, BACKING
SOUTHEAST 6 OR 7 LATER IN SOUTHWEST. RAIN OR SHOWERS. MODERATE OR GOOD

NORTH CORUNNA
NORTHEAST 5 TO 7, BUT CYCLONIC AT FIRST IN NORTHEAST, VEERING
SOUTHEAST 4 OR 5. RAIN OR SHOWERS. MODERATE OR GOOD

CELTIC BIDEFORD CORK
EAST OR NORTHEAST 5 OR 6. RAIN THEN SHOWERS. MAINLY GOOD

MAN
NORTHEAST 4 OR 5 BECOMING VARIABLE 3 OR 4. SHOWERS. GOOD

BANTRY
EAST OR NORTHEAST VEERING SOUTHEAST 4 OR 5, OCCASIONALLY 6 AT FIRST. SHOWERS. GOOD

PUFFIN IONA
NORTHEAST VEERING SOUTHWEST 4 OR 5, INCREASING 6 OR 7 PERHAPS GALE 8 LATER IN NORTH. RAIN LATER. MODERATE OR GOOD

ISLES BRENDAN
NORTH OR NORTHEAST 4 OR 5, VEERING EAST 6 OR 7 PERHAPS GALE 8 LATER IN SOUTH. SNOW SHOWERS. GOOD, BUT POOR IN SHOWERS

PENTLAND TORSHAVN SKAFTAROS
NORTH BACKING NORTHWEST 5 TO 7, PERHAPS GALE 8 LATER IN TORSHAVN AND SKAFTAROS. SNOW SHOWERS. GOOD, OCCASIONALLY POOR IN SHOWERS. LIGHT ICING IN TORSHAVN AND SKAFTAROS

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Comments
tiferet From: tiferet Date: March 24th, 2006 01:36 am (UTC) (Link)
Neph Office?

I'm trying to think of a name for the department of the ministry that keeps track of genealogies and bloodlines, m'self.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: March 24th, 2006 07:09 am (UTC) (Link)

Ah. Good morning.

Neph Office?

Nephomancy is, of course, divination by the observation of clouds, a form of aeromancy. The Neph (formerly, ‘Nephomantic’) Office’s Muggle equivalent is the Met Office (Meteorological Office).

I'm trying to think of a name for the department of the ministry that keeps track of genealogies and bloodlines, m'self.

Births and deaths (and marriages) are ultimately registered with the General Registry Office, via the local Register. Pedigrees, in England and Wales, may be proven and lodged of record with the College of Arms. In Scotland, the Public Register of All Genealogies and Birthbrieves, like the Public Register of All Arms and Bearings, is maintained by the Court of the Lord Lyon.

You may make Wizarding equivalents as you wish.
tiferet From: tiferet Date: March 24th, 2006 07:25 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Ah. Good morning.

I was thinking along the lines of an office that existed to keep records of the Wizarding limpieza de sangre, since it seems that even people who claim not to be prejudiced take pride in their pureblood status.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: March 24th, 2006 01:27 pm (UTC) (Link)

Well...

I suppose the heralds, then.
From: ex_ajhalluk585 Date: March 24th, 2006 07:52 am (UTC) (Link)
Oooh!
Do we get reports from coastal stations too?

And why Nelson? Twin brother who got an owl?
wemyss From: wemyss Date: March 24th, 2006 01:20 pm (UTC) (Link)

Sandettie Lumos-Vessel Automagic?

ESE 4 2 mi 995 falling quickly.... Why not?

Surely you don't imagine that Horatio was a Muggle? Anymore than were, say, Jackie Fisher, or Beatty, or Drake?

(And, really: am I the only person to note the clear relationship between Arthur Weasley and the Muggle branch of the family, Wesley-Wellesley? I'd wager Arthur's one in a long line of Arthurs, Garrets, and Valerians.)

Besides, it annoys the French.
From: ex_ajhalluk585 Date: March 24th, 2006 05:45 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Sandettie Lumos-Vessel Automagic?

Ah! So Jackie Fisher's famous crise de nerfs in St Pauls during the Gallipoli pullout was in fact a Dementor attack.

"now falling, now rising...Put it down, Frederick Weasley, I think you've made your point about your grasp of the Levo charm, thank you."
wemyss From: wemyss Date: March 24th, 2006 06:46 pm (UTC) (Link)

But of course.

And we shan't even mention Winston's 'black dog', shall we?
themolesmother From: themolesmother Date: March 24th, 2006 09:36 am (UTC) (Link)
LIGHT ICING IN AZKABAN

Strawberry or vanilla?

I remember listening to the Shipping Forecast as a child in complete fascination. There's just something about it, even if you don't have a clue what it all means.

Love your wizarding version. You've got the cadences just right. Sure there's a lot hidden there I haven't picked up. Some of it might hit me in a week's time and I'll wonder why I didn't see it before.

MM

wemyss From: wemyss Date: March 24th, 2006 01:21 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thanks.

Oddly compelling, isn't it.

Someone wants to compose 'Flying Past', the Wizarding version of 'Sailing By', and record that along with a read of the forecast.
eagles_rock From: eagles_rock Date: March 24th, 2006 10:09 am (UTC) (Link)
Is the last comment for each area still visibility? Or floo-ing conditions?

I was wondering if Floo-ing is susceptible to weather but apparating, being a mere breaking down and re-assembling at molecule level, is not? (Do 'The Fly' rules apply to apparating?)

If it's raining, do you get wet when you floo? Or iced if flooing over Pentland?
wemyss From: wemyss Date: March 24th, 2006 01:24 pm (UTC) (Link)

You DO ask the hard questions, my dear.

The last comment is visibility, for broom conditions.

I'm still trying to figure out how Wizards ship bulk cargo. Let alone yr questions.
eagles_rock From: eagles_rock Date: March 24th, 2006 03:44 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: You DO ask the hard questions, my dear.

Sorry. :-)

I was wondering about the Knight Bus; as wizards seem to have large vehicles and be able to 'drive' them, would there be a cargo version of the Knight Bus?

I don't even have a grip on whether small-ish, non-fragile items (a sack of grain springs to mind) can be floo'ed if someone beside the fire gives the destination. Maybe someone has to go with the goods if out of the weight capacity of owls.

Can portkeys be used for inanimate objects? And if so, then there must be a lot of people around who can create them, or maybe you buy them from some organisation.

Sorry for rambling on, but floos and portkeys don't need any special powers to use them, they think for you. But I have no idea if they are a front-end to apparation or some completely different system; they seem to have some sort of 'landing' aspect that apparation does not appear to have.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: March 24th, 2006 03:47 pm (UTC) (Link)

(Whimper.)

This wd give a Senior Wrangler a headache, wdn't it.

(Wanders off to think....)
From: (Anonymous) Date: March 24th, 2006 04:19 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: (Whimper.)

Hmmm. Are shrinking spells canon or fanon? If you can put a trunk in your pocket, how about a few cubic yards of stuff? And then just get yourself to the destination by whatever means? Or give the shrunken cargo to an owl; buyer re-sizes at the destination?

I really don't know, and I'm quite stumped about how Hogsmeade shops would get deliveries from Muggles, surely the wizarding world must use some Muggle stuff; even just fruit and veg. Maybe not.

Not sure about any of this at all, I'm afraid.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: March 24th, 2006 06:45 pm (UTC) (Link)

Mull. Mull.

I'm mulling like the Mull of Kintyre, here.
tree_and_leaf From: tree_and_leaf Date: March 24th, 2006 11:29 am (UTC) (Link)
I love the idea of dementor side-effects appeasing on the shipping forecast.

Also, sea area 'Brendan' amused me no end. Nice.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: March 24th, 2006 01:26 pm (UTC) (Link)

The man cd surely sail a coracle, I must say.

Thanks. One just knew Azkaban wd be a rough region.
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