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Half-inched from a mate of Moselle Green's... - Wemyss's Appalling Hobby:
From the Party Guilty of Committing 'Gate of Ivory, Gate of Horn'
wemyss
wemyss
Half-inched from a mate of Moselle Green's...

… let’s create a list of comments you’d wish to have picked up by Twitter and Facebook, so that your life seems more interesting than it is.

 

I’ll begin.

 

‘I anticipated that a car and driver would be waiting for me at Heathrow, I simply didn’t expect the Foreign Secretary to be with him.’

 

‘Now Sam’s saying Our Florrie is actually Nick’s, and Dave is gutted.

 

‘My friend at the ICC says they’re bringing in Stanford to clean up the PCB.’

 

‘Bunnies can and will go to France.’

 

Les sanglots longs / Des violons / De l’automne / Blessent mon cœur.  I’ll say that again: Les sanglots longs / Des violons / De l’automne / Blessent mon cœur.  And now the Shipping Forecast….’

 

Yours?

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Comments
dessieoctavia From: dessieoctavia Date: September 2nd, 2010 09:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
*gloats*

Edited at 2010-09-02 10:05 pm (UTC)
mprice From: mprice Date: September 3rd, 2010 03:36 am (UTC) (Link)
Don't worry. I think I managed to delete everything before the Feds got there.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: September 3rd, 2010 02:48 pm (UTC) (Link)

But then...

How in buggery was I to know Putin was an ABBA fan?
mprice From: mprice Date: September 3rd, 2010 09:57 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: But then...

Okay, the oxyclean got all the blood out. How to I mask if from Luminal again?
wemyss From: wemyss Date: September 3rd, 2010 10:09 pm (UTC) (Link)

Moreover -

I told Uncle George, if he'd only spelt 'heroine' properly, he'd not have got in this mess.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: September 3rd, 2010 04:47 pm (UTC) (Link)

Odd.

When I suggested peaches stuffed with Stilton, Geldof was not amused at all.
mprice From: mprice Date: September 3rd, 2010 09:58 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Odd.

How much rhinoceros horn is too much?
wemyss From: wemyss Date: September 3rd, 2010 10:08 pm (UTC) (Link)

Whereupon...

I said, 'Sir, it mightn't be wise to refer to the DPM's wife as "that Euro-WAG Spanish dancer", if I may say so'....
mprice From: mprice Date: September 3rd, 2010 10:22 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Whereupon...

How was I to know that Chippendale's dancer was your brother?
wemyss From: wemyss Date: September 4th, 2010 12:55 pm (UTC) (Link)

Er...

I don't think that passage leads anywhere, really. No, really.
femmequixotic From: femmequixotic Date: September 2nd, 2010 10:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
You are terrible, and I just startled the cat by laughing out loud.

I think I'd have to go with...

"Balmoral's divine in the summer, I was just saying to HM."

"Florence isn't so horrible as names go, I suppose. And really, Nicola, we all decided, was just a bit too obvious. And a tad too, well, EU."

"This is the worst moment of my entire life. I've spent my last penny on a cat-skin windcheater, and I've just broken a priceless turnip. And now I'm about to be viciously slaughtered by a naked Tunisian sock merchant! All I can say, Baldrick, is this: it's the last time I dabble in politics!"

"You wouldn't believe the size of Broady's bat."

wemyss From: wemyss Date: September 3rd, 2010 02:47 pm (UTC) (Link)

Quite.

And that's when Norman told Boris, 'Get on yer bike'!
sgt_majorette From: sgt_majorette Date: September 3rd, 2010 02:19 am (UTC) (Link)
Gadroon splat.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: September 3rd, 2010 02:43 pm (UTC) (Link)

Yes.

And do you know, it wasn't Tokay at all?
sollersuk From: sollersuk Date: September 3rd, 2010 05:43 am (UTC) (Link)
I particularly enjoyed the last one!
wemyss From: wemyss Date: September 3rd, 2010 02:43 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank you.

I rather liked the Thorpe one, myself.
fpb From: fpb Date: September 3rd, 2010 07:54 am (UTC) (Link)
...yes, but I am the only person in the world who has the evidence.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: September 3rd, 2010 02:44 pm (UTC) (Link)

Oh?

I told him, 'Tony, you simply must insist to Peter that he be firm with that Brazilian'....
fpb From: fpb Date: September 3rd, 2010 07:28 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Oh?

He is still convinced that Jack passed away as a result of the earthquake.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: September 3rd, 2010 07:51 pm (UTC) (Link)

And then...

Well, Bearders was simply furious that someone'd nicked his cake - until he found it had been CMJ 'wot done it'.
magic_at_mungos From: magic_at_mungos Date: September 3rd, 2010 01:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'll offer you *cough* on those no balls
wemyss From: wemyss Date: September 3rd, 2010 02:46 pm (UTC) (Link)

And....

I see now it was folly to introduce Crispin to that Oaten bugger, but one cannot foresee absolutely everything, damn it all.
tree_and_leaf From: tree_and_leaf Date: September 3rd, 2010 07:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
I tried to tell our William that one day his money-saving ideas would led to trouble - well, you can take the boy out of Yorkshire, but you can't...
wemyss From: wemyss Date: September 3rd, 2010 08:17 pm (UTC) (Link)

And...

Really, the twin St Lucian limbo dancers were not quite the right sort of guests to squire about at Ascot - but Colin never would take advice....
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