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Before and after: a tale of two innings - Wemyss's Appalling Hobby:
From the Party Guilty of Committing 'Gate of Ivory, Gate of Horn'
wemyss
wemyss
Before and after: a tale of two innings

That’s tripe. When I were lad, cricketers took those chances in field, lad, beginning wi’ coin-toss. I know we’ve just now won toss, but I don’t see how England can win from here. Loocky t’ get draw. Happen we take wicket on first ball of every over, England may, joost may, mind you, manage draw, but I don’t see it, not if we don’t bowl nobbut dot balls with it. What’s that, Chris-to-pher? Nay, lad, that’s tripe: I don’t want a ball to be bowled before I predict a loss. When I were playin’, now – I mind Fred Trueman said to me – it were when I were preparing to succeed Len Hutton as Greatest Living Yorkshireman, right? – Fred said to me, you’ll hear nobbut tripe on TMS....

 

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Aye, didn’t I tell ’ee: Cap’n Strauss made right choice from start – mind, hadn’t had three dropped chances early, happen Australia were bowled oot for fifty – we’d ha’ dooone that in my day – and this business o’ lettin’ rain stop play is tripe, I tell ’ee, I mind a time we played Lancashire in a floooood – aye, Ray: that’s Ray Illingworth to you, lad – Ray, he said to me, it’s goooood weather for dooocks, and oot he went and bowled one, ‘Goooood weather for dooocks,’ says he, ‘but don’t ’ee be bowled oot fer one’ – oh, we played through hoooorricanes in my day….

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Comments
blamebrampton From: blamebrampton Date: December 26th, 2010 02:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
It was glorious, though than goodness I staggered from bed some hours before Mr B, or I would have missed the Australian innings altogether. As it was, lunch was just time enough to catch the second half of it.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: December 26th, 2010 02:59 pm (UTC) (Link)

What I like best of all in a good England showing...

... is that it DOES Shut Boycs Right Up w his prophecies of Dooooooooooooooooooooooom.
blamebrampton From: blamebrampton Date: December 26th, 2010 03:07 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: What I like best of all in a good England showing...

The Australian attitudes have been hilarious. The adverts that have been showing have been filled with cricketing hubris, which is now hilarious. The commentators were 'Oh, look, we'll probably rally' at first, and then during the first Test went from 'HA! HAHAHAHA! TAKE THAT!' to 'Um ...' in quick succession.

After the second Test it was all 'Where We Went Horribly Wrong Was ...', while after the third Test it was a case of 'HOW could anyone ever doubt our valiant lads?' Today's Sydney Morning Herald online edition is leading with 'Humiliation of a Century'.

The only thing less consistent than the Australian cricketing team ...
wemyss From: wemyss Date: December 26th, 2010 03:15 pm (UTC) (Link)

As you of all people know...

... hacks are hacks, from Fleet Street to Sydney.
blamebrampton From: blamebrampton Date: December 26th, 2010 03:20 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: As you of all people know...

I will say for the British press that hope is held for longer, even in years when there has been less reason. Must off to bed so I can rise early and watch the lovely Mr Cook.
noeon From: noeon Date: December 26th, 2010 08:23 pm (UTC) (Link)

oh, we played through hoooorricanes in my day

AHAHAA!!!

YES! EXACTLY!

You have him pinned and wriggling like a bug.

Happen we take wicket on first ball of every over

The fact that he was talking draw from the SECOND OVER was just stupendous. Or stupefying. :)

Lovely lovely piece.

Edited at 2010-12-26 08:28 pm (UTC)
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