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More Nev-isms, plus Moody heard from. - Wemyss's Appalling Hobby:
From the Party Guilty of Committing 'Gate of Ivory, Gate of Horn'
wemyss
wemyss
More Nev-isms, plus Moody heard from.

‘Black anise and horehound mint balls,’ Nev said.  ‘Great-Aunt Enid were pleased: she and Great-Uncle want them for Harfangs.’

‘Good Lord,’ said Draco.  ‘Is that your people?’

‘On HL’s mum’s side, yes, and now war’s over, they’re back up and running.’

‘I’m sorry,’ said Harry, ‘but I’m rather lost.’

‘Harfangs Holiday Camps,’ Arthur said.  ‘Hermione tells me there’s something similar in the Muggle world?’

‘Butlins,’ said Hermione, with a faint shudder of upmarket distaste.

 

SAYINGS of ALASTOR MOODY: THE AURORS’S UNOFFICIAL BIBLE:

 

Whan I said we used your submission at last night’s con, lad, what I mean is, We wadded up the parchment and put it under the short leg of the table to keep it from wobbling.

 

Why in Christ’s name waad Voldemort attack th’ Ministry and end all this confusion?

 

There are pockets of competence even in this organisation.  The key is ta find ’em and use ’em into th’ ground.

 

It’s as obvious as Crup’s bollocks on an ironing board.

 

There are no stupid questions, but, Christ Jaysus are there a hell of a lot of inquisitive eejits.

 

Oh, there’s an Auror’s College answer [sometimes: ‘a Ministry answer’]: immediate, technically correct, and utterly feckin’ useless.

 

Lass, whaneffer a Ministry shite tells you something is ‘no problem’, what he means is it’s no problem for him.  Particularly as he’s no intention of doing feck-all about it, whateffer.

 

The sole purpose of a Ministry briefing is to leave you confused at a higher level than before.

 

Th’ lad’s an ignor-anus: a stupid ass and a complete arse.

 

[Adapted from various NATO officers and staff sayings]

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sgt_majorette From: sgt_majorette Date: June 9th, 2006 08:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oooh! Military flashbacks! The right way, the wrong way and the Army way...
wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 10th, 2006 01:06 pm (UTC) (Link)

'And,' said Alastor, 'MY way.'

Some things are universal.
sgt_majorette From: sgt_majorette Date: June 10th, 2006 07:38 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: 'And,' said Alastor, 'MY way.'

"...or the highway, right, your Scariness?" mutters one minor underling to another. His fellow underling chuckles mirthlessly, and a bit perfunctorily, to tell the truth, because the remark wasn't very funny or original, and because he hadn't been listening, being deeply engaged in making cartoon sketches of Old Mad-Eye as a Muggle superhero with silly bionic genitalia.

One thing one misses in retirement from military/corporate dronery is the meetings and briefings, for the inevitable gigglefits, and those glorious moments when one gets so fed up one just has to say what one is thinking aloud...
tiferet From: tiferet Date: June 9th, 2006 09:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ah, the Moody love. I do adore him SO.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 10th, 2006 01:07 pm (UTC) (Link)

Yes.

Isn't he FUN?
themolesmother From: themolesmother Date: June 10th, 2006 01:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
The sole purpose of a Ministry briefing is to leave you confused at a higher level than before.

A man of sense our Moody. I've sat through some very similar briefings in my corporate days.

I remember vividly one such when my boss was attempting to explain new organisation chart which, for some reason known only to the gods of management, consisted of overlapping circles. Previous organisation chart (we had what was known as a matrix organisation) consisted of overlapping squares. Yours truly pipes up, "Oh, I see we've stopped forming squares and started going round in circles." Entire meeting collapsed in laughter, boss looked daggers, and my career in that part of the organisation was effectively over.

Ah, memories.

MM

wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 10th, 2006 01:07 pm (UTC) (Link)

You realise...

... That I am now obliged to filch that scene for fictive purposes.

Thank you.
themolesmother From: themolesmother Date: June 10th, 2006 01:45 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: You realise...

Filch away, my dear sir. I'm delighted to have provided you with inspiration.

MM
wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 10th, 2006 04:09 pm (UTC) (Link)

Much obliged.

Ta, ducks.
sgt_majorette From: sgt_majorette Date: June 10th, 2006 07:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
"I remember vividly one such when my boss was attempting to explain new organisation chart which, for some reason known only to the gods of management, consisted of overlapping circles."

Investment banking?

I see you held the position I tended to hold, "Avatar of Impertinence", which is the person designated to say out loud what everyone else is afraid to admit they're thinking. In military parlance, you're the point man, heroically drawing fire so the others can escape, or execute the mission, whichever comes first...
themolesmother From: themolesmother Date: June 11th, 2006 07:25 am (UTC) (Link)
Investment banking?

No, it was actually a water company, would you believe. Circular organisation charts and all the other sorts of corporate silliness are everywhere these days.

Nice to meet another Avatar of Impertinence. There are too few of us around these days.

MM
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