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Harry Potter and the Deathwatch Beetle. - Wemyss's Appalling Hobby:
From the Party Guilty of Committing 'Gate of Ivory, Gate of Horn'
wemyss
wemyss
Harry Potter and the Deathwatch Beetle.

Perhaps it’s me, but parsing the latest Delphic opacity from JKR-Oracle-owling seems rather a pointless exercise.  If ‘no significant alterations’ means anything, then Harry, for one, is neither more or less likely for the high jump than he’s been since the inception of the series.  As the entire series is told from his viewpoint, there seems a structural suggestion that he survives, but nine writers in ten no longer concern themselves with, or, indeed, twig to, that technical issue.

 

Obviously, in JKR’s moral universe – that of an urban bien-pensant with unthinking LibDem / New Labour leanings: her ideal society is a sort of Guardian-of-Eden – sacrifice is meant to matter; yet, so, too, is the principle that Good gets rewarded and Evil gets its comeuppance.  We’ll know which way the cat jumped about this time next year.

 

What I do say is this.  Of course fandom will not resign itself to whichever fate JKR assigns her characters.  But, rather more to the point, she may well find that the market doesn’t accept her resolution, either.  There remains a very good chance that, bowing to pressure, she will eventually be forced to publish Books Eight, Nine, and Ten, the first being an adventure of Harry’s that preceded the Final Battle and was left out of the series originally:

Book Eight: Harry Potter and the Grim of the Baskervilles;

Book Nine: Harry Potter and the Reichenbach Falls; and

Book Ten: Harry Potter and the Adventure of the Empty House.

 

I think Lucius makes an admirable Colonel Sebastian Moran.

ETA: Now, more importantly, what would be the Wizarding equivalent to Ascot (or, better yet, the Grand National)?

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Comments
executrix From: executrix Date: June 28th, 2006 06:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
My Blakes7 crossover points out the disadvantages of Thestral racing, including the demands on the willing suspension of disbelief about the racing results on the part of a large proportion of the spectators.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 30th, 2006 02:35 pm (UTC) (Link)

Oh, quite.

Thestrals want to be used only in carriage-driving events.

That leaves the various pegasids for racing. Wh has its own problems, particularly if flat-racing is not the primary form of the sport.
executrix From: executrix Date: June 30th, 2006 02:40 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Oh, quite.

Perhaps there's an alt-Quidditch, mounted version?
wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 30th, 2006 02:46 pm (UTC) (Link)

Mint polo?

Hmmmmm.

(Wanders off, thinking.)
executrix From: executrix Date: June 30th, 2006 02:54 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Mint polo?

I assume the matches start After Eight.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 30th, 2006 03:07 pm (UTC) (Link)

Of course.

Ever since the year Humbug won the Kendal Stakes, thus forcing the chukka to be put back because everyone was watching the racing.
executrix From: executrix Date: June 30th, 2006 03:15 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Of course.

Or sharpening their Spears.
bufo_viridis From: bufo_viridis Date: June 29th, 2006 02:41 am (UTC) (Link)
Hm, Ron is daft enough to play Watson, but Hermione seems to me ill-suited as Lestrade...
wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 30th, 2006 02:35 pm (UTC) (Link)

Too true.

Hermione is Mycroft.
sgt_majorette From: sgt_majorette Date: June 29th, 2006 03:27 am (UTC) (Link)
If any author has a chance of sticking to her original plan, it's our Jo. Remember, she's the one with the cold brass to tell an international audience of children that she didn't believe in magic. Also we know that she writes rude things she knows she couldn't get past the publishers which she refers to as "over-the-shoulder" stuff, from how she gets the pages from her desk into the wastebasket.

If I'm her, I give an interview just before I turn in the final draft wherein I screech "Any more whining, and every-goddamn-body in this mother-effing book DIES!

My grandniece has the definitive Book >7 title: Harry Potter and Angry Rapunzel and Boo Doll.

Isn't an ascot some kind of foofie neckwear?
Isn't ETA a violent Basque separatist group?
wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 30th, 2006 02:37 pm (UTC) (Link)

I like that.

The grandniece hath talent.

I refuse to answer questions about Ascot and ETA from anyone who calls a race a 'Durrbee' and thinks IRA is a retirement fund, begor'.
sgt_majorette From: sgt_majorette Date: June 30th, 2006 03:43 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: I like that.

People who think IRA is primarily a retirement fund are probably quite young and didn't go to parochial school in a big city. Brendan Behan drank himself to death in our fair city, and the parish where the Little Diva's mother was confirmed is a known hideout for suspected Irish terrorists.

So how do you guys pronounce the hat?

And does this mean that the word processing center consensus was wrong, and "plc" does not stand for "People's Liberation Conga-line"?
aillil From: aillil Date: June 29th, 2006 06:52 am (UTC) (Link)

Don't I know...

...these vibes. Oh dear. Doyle did it, and I fear the absolute worst with respect to Rowling.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 30th, 2006 02:38 pm (UTC) (Link)

A Norwegian named Sigerson....

... Is, even as we speak, researching coal-tar derivative potions at Beauxbatons.
tree_and_leaf From: tree_and_leaf Date: June 29th, 2006 10:29 am (UTC) (Link)
I agree that there's no point in trying to second guess it, if by point you mean 'likelihood of correctly predicting what will happen'. But some people enjoy playing Kremlinology...

I don't think JKR is New Labour exactly (Umbridge has a very 'New-labour-Educational-Policy-lightly-redrafted-by-Kafka'feel about her) - but certainly soft left. And I do like the term 'Guardian of Eden' (does it have a firey sword, one wonders?)
wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 30th, 2006 02:39 pm (UTC) (Link)

Here, have an apple.

So: were Adam and Eve Parselmouths?
tree_and_leaf From: tree_and_leaf Date: June 30th, 2006 02:43 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Here, have an apple.

Presumably. Unless the serpent had been learning Prelapsarian as a foreign language (or were snakes affected by Babel, also?)

Thanks for the apple, but I think that variety disagrees with me...
wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 30th, 2006 02:49 pm (UTC) (Link)

Cox's Orange ... oh, never mind.

Cider, then?
tree_and_leaf From: tree_and_leaf Date: June 30th, 2006 02:51 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Cox's Orange ... oh, never mind.

Cheers!
wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 30th, 2006 03:05 pm (UTC) (Link)

Ar. Get thik pint down.

Yerrealth.
tree_and_leaf From: tree_and_leaf Date: June 29th, 2006 10:30 am (UTC) (Link)
Hippogriff steeplechasing?

Of course, the problem is preventing the muggles noticing the hippogriff flying from church tower to church tower...
wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 30th, 2006 02:40 pm (UTC) (Link)

Oh, Muggles never notice these things.

I've a bit on Witherwings in the 2.10 at Redcar.
tree_and_leaf From: tree_and_leaf Date: June 30th, 2006 02:45 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Oh, Muggles never notice these things.

He's got his form back, then? Earlier results weren't that promising. Of course, he must be getting pretty near the veterans class, now.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 30th, 2006 02:48 pm (UTC) (Link)

I'd a tip.

From Dung.

You know: straight from the Hippogriff's arse.
themolesmother From: themolesmother Date: June 29th, 2006 12:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
What I do say is this. Of course fandom will not resign itself to whichever fate JKR assigns her characters. But, rather more to the point, she may well find that the market doesn’t accept her resolution, either. There remains a very good chance that, bowing to pressure, she will eventually be forced to publish Books Eight, Nine, and Ten ...

Wise words, sir. Conan Doyle is probably sending JKR vibes of rueful sympathy from the afterlife. My guess is that she has already "bowed to pressure" over the one person she was originally going to kill off who got a reprieve - betcha its Draco.

MM
wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 30th, 2006 02:44 pm (UTC) (Link)

That wd be nice.

In fact, one can imagine perfectly valid reasons for a final scene in which Ginny has died at Riddle's hand (or wand), the Trio are limping away, and Draco sidles over and walks off with them, all into an uncertain future. 'Louis, this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship' an All That, or, rather, my previously stated scenario of One Big Restored House of Black encompassing Potters, Blacks (including Cis and Draco), Prewetts, and surviving Weasleys.
eagles_rock From: eagles_rock Date: June 29th, 2006 08:05 pm (UTC) (Link)

Horses, degenerates into smut.

Book 7? *Shrugs the shrug of a Snape fan*, JKR can take her time, as far as I'm concerned.

Now then, horses. A subject about which I know nothing, therefore will witter on a bit. Do you think it's possible that the Wizarding World could have the old two-horses format I've seen mentioned in my limited wiki'ing? Private races, private courses, knockouts over several days (if horses can recover at that rate, I've no idea). Private betting on a grand scale. (I don't remember what your Terry Boot does, but some sort of a bookie, legal or otherwise, might be good. (I also can't remember if the Malfoy who jumped the counter was literally a grocer, but if not, horse-trading would be good, or keeping a book.) An alternative to duelling?

Racing of pairs of horses with carriages. (Phil the Greek/HM spectating?)

House elves/goblins-who-fail-Maths as jockeys? Wee waffer-thin Witches? Is John McCririck a Squib? (besides being an Arse)

Horses or any Fabulous Beasts that take your fancy. Aerial courses for thestrals? Would half of Ireland come over to a meet? Is Seamus a living Form Book?

Bookies would of course have a thing or two to teach the taxman about financial integrity. (And this is where my mind degenerated rapidly - the other people with a handle on financial integrity would be brothel keepers; is there space for an old-fashioned Edwardian-type Madam in your world? And if so, who? And would Snape go there? Or run it? And, apologies for even mentioning this, but in the hope it amuses you, would blowjobs be possible over the Floo? Have never seen it in a fic; not to say it's not all the rage on ff.net. Or canonically impossible. Or would all teenage boys (bar Harry, of course) have been warned about this in their youth?)

*whistles idly*
wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 30th, 2006 02:45 pm (UTC) (Link)

You interest me.

And I can see Dung Fletcher as a tout.

These are all wondrous notions, wh I shall shamelessly filch.
eagles_rock From: eagles_rock Date: June 30th, 2006 10:00 pm (UTC) (Link)

Applied Arithmancy

Thinking about running a book as being an off-shoot of Arithmancy (as JKR has said she has no idea what Arithmancy is, I consider it fair game) led me to remember the two weeks a year when a good section of the UK public does a Further Maths A-Level question - snooker at The Crucible - and I wondered about Wizarding Billiards; I can imagine Malfoy Manor having a billiards room with Lucius having been rather good at it (misspent youth, hustler standard) and having been an overly Competitive Dad with Draco. I'm still divided on whether Lucius Malfoy has ever sat on a horse though. :-)

Googling suggests that billiards existed pre-1692 (and that pool tables are so-called due to commonly being placed in betting halls, strangely enough), and that it's basically indoor croquet, a game about which I'm deeply ambivalent as it's the only game I've ever been invited to play so that I would lose. I can certainly see Draco pulling this stunt, but he should be warned that the victim will draw their own conclusions.
nineveh_uk From: nineveh_uk Date: June 30th, 2006 10:21 am (UTC) (Link)
If ‘no significant alterations’ means anything, then Harry, for one, is neither more or less likely for the high jump than he’s been since the inception of the series.

Yes indeed. All she said was “I decided to give one character a reprieve, and killed off two others instead” – nothing about how many she decided not to reprieve, sleeping sweetly in their pre-ordered coffins.

Personally, I feel Harry will live, but I have nothing to base this on but gut feeling. The character I really want to live is Snape, but that is in part a visceral reaction to fandom concepts of “redemption”.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 30th, 2006 02:48 pm (UTC) (Link)

There are more Life Debts floating about...

... Than during the City's Big Bang, aren't there?

Snape might well prefer death, all things considered.
tree_and_leaf From: tree_and_leaf Date: June 30th, 2006 02:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
That alone seems a good reason for reprieving him! I'd really like to see Snape shocked out of thinking that it was All About Him, as he currently appears to do.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 30th, 2006 03:04 pm (UTC) (Link)

It's Snape.

Whatever happens, he'll put it down to predestination.
tree_and_leaf From: tree_and_leaf Date: June 30th, 2006 03:08 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: It's Snape.

True.

I really must see if I can do anything about that 'Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Potions Master' plotbunny.

But only at the fore-ordained time, obviously.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 30th, 2006 03:09 pm (UTC) (Link)

Obviously.

Whenever you Elect to do.
nineveh_uk From: nineveh_uk Date: June 30th, 2006 03:31 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: It's Snape.

The fore-ordained time is now, now, now! Suddenly everything about Snape is made clear.
nineveh_uk From: nineveh_uk Date: June 30th, 2006 03:32 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: There are more Life Debts floating about...

Certainly death rather than having to be grateful to Harry. But Harry thinks it's all about him, too. Perhaps their egos will meet, implode, and bring down Voldemort with the resulting burst of energy?
tree_and_leaf From: tree_and_leaf Date: June 30th, 2006 02:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think Harry will probably die, though I'd be delighted to be proved wrong, but I don't think the narrative perspective necesarily suggests that he'll survive. The first chapter of the series, after all, is not in his pov. Or we might have an epilogue chapter by a another character, in the role of historian (eg Lupin?)
wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 30th, 2006 03:03 pm (UTC) (Link)

Oh, possibly, I suppose.

Entirely practicable.

I simply rather dislike becoming accustomed to being inside a narrator's head only to find afterwards that only God cd have known his inward thoughts, because he is DEAD DEAD DEAD.
tree_and_leaf From: tree_and_leaf Date: June 30th, 2006 03:09 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Oh, possibly, I suppose.

It wd be rather tiresome.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 30th, 2006 03:10 pm (UTC) (Link)

Not that that ever stops the buggers.

Ah, well, we've at least a year yet to play.
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