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Tartan haze, tartan haze.... - Wemyss's Appalling Hobby:
From the Party Guilty of Committing 'Gate of Ivory, Gate of Horn'
Tartan haze, tartan haze....

It’s nae the morn fer baitin’ th’ auld man, d’ye ken?  No’ after the nicht, and that Burns Nicht.  Ah’m hearin’ that the weans hae been quarrelling whilst feyther’s been awa’ wi’ his haggis an’ his whusky (an’ his whusky, an’ his whusky….)?  Weeell noo, hark to yer auld feyther Wemyss: it’s aye best ye bairns compose yer ain quarrels.  Gin auld feyther Wemyss maun examine causes an’ dispose o’ matters, whaur debate hae turnit tae carbin’, roukin’, an’ ane threapin’ tae th’ ither, certies ye’ll no’ care fer the upshot.  There’s aye a wa’ o’ seein’ wha’s tae blame an’ wha began it, and gin Ah maun meddle, ane or th’ ither or th’ baith o’ the disputants’ll lose mah guid opinion, an’ ye’ll no want that, ken this well.  Tak’ yer wird again, or be tuk ower th’ coals by auld feyther Wemyss: knickety knack, which haund will ye tak’?



14 comments or Leave a comment
fpb From: fpb Date: January 26th, 2008 05:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
Get in touch with a FA fan writer called Inverarity and offer to beta her. She is a thoroughly brilliant writer, but she has problems Brit-picking, and has bitten off way more than she can chew with a Scottish character.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: January 26th, 2008 06:23 pm (UTC) (Link)

I'll do that.

And why people haven't the nous to contact britpickery on their own, I shall never understand.
sgt_majorette From: sgt_majorette Date: January 26th, 2008 11:14 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: I'll do that.

And if you were saying that in person, how would the word nous sound? I've been hearing it as I read as a hangman's loop, assuming it was from the Greek, but just the other day, Gordon Ramsey said some sous-chef had the nowss to do something or other, and from the context it seemed like the same expression.

Love the Scots rant, by the way...
fpb From: fpb Date: January 27th, 2008 01:26 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: I'll do that.

Nous is an Ancient Greek word for intelligence or intellect. Dearly beloved of pretentious semi-educated Britons. It should be pronounced like "noose"; those who read it as if it was English just show their own level. Especially if they use it to mean "gumption, commonsense," which it does not mean. (Do I leave the impression that I do not think much of Mr.Ramsey? Mm, I guess perhaps I don't.)
wemyss From: wemyss Date: January 27th, 2008 02:44 pm (UTC) (Link)

But is there a (shudder) 'celebrity chef' one CAN stand?

The concept itself is inherently unhealthy, even if most of the crowd aren't so disobliging as Mr Ramsey.
velvet_tipping From: velvet_tipping Date: January 26th, 2008 07:20 pm (UTC) (Link)

ahh ok i get it now

dinna worrit yerseln, auld feyther wemyss. one of the "disputants" really doesn't think there is a dispute worth acknowledging, and most people seem to be agreeing with her on that. no outside interferene required ;)

Edited at 2008-01-26 07:31 pm (UTC)
wemyss From: wemyss Date: January 26th, 2008 08:49 pm (UTC) (Link)

It is always gratifying to hear that a dispute is mended.

And I confide that there is a sufficiency of squalib squabbling even on MY f'list, that quite a few persons may take the post as being to their address.

I do of course approve of debate, and that with vigour; but I do expect that those favoured with my acquaintance are capable, as I am certain all of you are, of comporting themselves collegially, politely, and with becoming dignity - and without positive and deliberate unkindness. I am glad to hear that this remains so.
froganon From: froganon Date: January 27th, 2008 08:20 am (UTC) (Link)


Clueless here even with a two-by-four.
No matter.
It will work out alright in the end.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: January 27th, 2008 02:46 pm (UTC) (Link)

You've a clear conscience.

Mine were words of general application. Those who have ears to hear will take them as being to their address, and no one else need trouble himself with it.
shezan From: shezan Date: January 27th, 2008 10:33 am (UTC) (Link)
I went to my first Burns Night supper Friday! Had the time of my life and I LOVED HAGGIS!

(In a spirit of fair-play, it was thrown at the British Embassy in Paris, in aid of the Scottish Development Initiative, who had sent a Nationalist Minister from Edinburgh who was making quite definitive statements about independence. Good guy actually. Stewart Sevenson, Min for Transport, Infrastructure and Climate Change, who cunningly wooed the Frog press by explaining that Scotland needed TGVs and the only hindrance were those incompetents (he used a more diplomatic term) South Of The Border, who'd actually managed to have worse train schedules than in Trollope's day. . While waiting between courses, listening to speeches, etc. my neighbours & I started looking under the silver chargers on which our plates were laid. They were inscribed "His Britannic Majesty's representation at the French Court", with a date; mine was 1710, the oldest at the table - a piker had a "Her Britannic Majesty's... etc. inscription, probably to the French Republic, dated from the mid-1950. Strange to think mine had been in use for 5 years before Louis XIV died.)
wemyss From: wemyss Date: January 27th, 2008 02:48 pm (UTC) (Link)


I have never understood people who recoil from haggis.

I recoil from Nats, myself.
shezan From: shezan Date: January 27th, 2008 07:44 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Super.

Er... what's Nats?
wemyss From: wemyss Date: January 27th, 2008 07:55 pm (UTC) (Link)


Scottish Nationalist Party buggers.
shezan From: shezan Date: January 27th, 2008 08:52 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: SNP.

*hand, forehead, staplegun*

See, I thought it was something you ATE. Bloody Frog, moi.

I'll say one thing, I came thinking I'd dislike the guy violently, and he was actually rather nice. A bit like those Quebecois pols, really - silly politics but so mercifully free of the self-importance and cant of Westminster or the Palais Bourbon that you end up having a lot of time for them. Also, this one was all about better trains and investment, as opposed to, you know, bombs in train stations. He also did not blow his top when I prodded him with the C-word* (on purpose because I'm a meanie.)

(*): Corsica, what did you tbhink?
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