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I do actually realise I owe you lot some news. - Wemyss's Appalling Hobby:
From the Party Guilty of Committing 'Gate of Ivory, Gate of Horn'
I do actually realise I owe you lot some news.
Alas, the press of events and All That.

I am in fact beavering away at fic.

Inter multos alia, mind.

And I do, really, owe you - particularly, I believe, La Mere Taupe - an update on the latest news: the expansion of the Baker's Daughter (well, of her business), the savage infighting in the PCC, and the like.

I shall do, I promise.  Ad interim, I shd note some of the major stories of the recent weeks that the public press have noticed, in the 'There Will Always Be An England' category.

Police stopping a motorist for erratic driving discovered over seventy rustled chickens from a farm near Lacock.  The smuggling ring is now broken and the chickens are safely 'home'.  There is no word on whether the rustlers's defence will be that they misunderstood the concept of free-range chicken.

Not all in Deepest Wilts is muck and agriculture and yokels.  After all, what could be more sophisticated and genteel than a charity event in the Bishop's garden?  Oh.  Right.  Well, yes, they are roasting a hog in the Bp's garden, so....

I am saddened to report a drowning death.  No, there's no funny comment to be made.

Police in Melksham are looking for a mob that attacked three people in a BoA car park.  Well, I say 'mob': there were twelve, all told.  I know, I know, city mobs are rather larger.  The assailants were said to be driving about in a Range Rover, a BMW, a Renault, a Nissan, and a truck.  In my youth, a 'mob' of twelve doing damage in a pub car park and departing in a Rover and a BMW, would have suggested Bullingdon Club, but....

And, importantly, from the local paper, 'Calne retained their 100 per cent record in Division One of the Wiltshire Cricket League with a comfortable six wicket victory at neighbours Box on Saturday', so pop a cork, you lot.

And so it goes.  Send your notes and stolen chickens to our programme at ....

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From: tree_and_leaf Date: June 10th, 2008 10:00 am (UTC) (Link)
Glad to hear you're about, and also the cricket news... my internet connection is not working well enough to listen to the radio over it, and the football obsession in this benighted country is driving me slowly but surely insane.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 10th, 2008 01:26 pm (UTC) (Link)

Indeed, yes.

People are MAD. Staring mad. Test cricket, county cricket, important matches all, and all one hears is this bleating over the muddied oafs.

In other local news, down Ringwood way, a family watched in horror as two terriers savaged their pet hens. To my mind, that is NOT a 'There Will Always Be An England' story, as a true Briton would have ... dissuaded ... the dogs, shall we say.
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