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‘Truly, Madley, Deeply’ - part 1 - Wemyss's Appalling Hobby:
From the Party Guilty of Committing 'Gate of Ivory, Gate of Horn'
‘Truly, Madley, Deeply’ - part 1

‘Truly, Madley, Deeply’

An extract from the very much unpublished papers of Laura Madley Queen’s Serjeant (Wizarding), late Director of Public Denunciations and subsequently Madam Justice Madley.



GMW Wemyss



Marriage Acts (Diagon Gazette)

A Building certified for worship named Ecclesia Chapel St Sulien’s, 121A Blazen Row, in the registration district of Diagon, in the London Borough of Grimmauld on Thames, was, on 14 March, registered for solemnising marriages therein pursuant to section 12 of the Marriage Act 1349….



I am, apparently, a whore.  An old pro, flogging her charms down Knockturn, with, when I’m past it, a future to look forward to as one of those hennaed old trouts who keep Knockturn knocking-shops, on the lines of Willie Wagstaff’s auntie.


Not bad for an unblushing virgin, really.



Broom traffic (Hogsmeade Gazette)

… Any person wishing to question the validity of the Order or of any of its provisions on the grounds that they are not within the relevant powers conferred by the Act or that any requirement of the Act has not been complied with, that person may, within six weeks from the date on which the Order is made, make application for the purpose to the High Court.



I was a mousy little thing as a schoolgirl.  And a good thing, too: the ability to vanish into the wainscoting was a damned useful talent at Hogwarts consule the Carrows and their Dark Lord.  But, there: mousiness is a characteristic others will attribute to Hufflepuffs, whether it’s true or not.  And it never is.  Evidently, a shocking number of Wizards and Witches have never actually seen a badger in action.


Loyalty is not an insipid virtue.  It is a conflagration.


I cannot imagine there’s any Witch – or Wizard – who was alive at the time, and not sunk in first or second childhood, who didn’t have a thumping pash on Cedric Diggory: not Minerva, not prunes-prisms-and-propriety Granger, not Malfoy, and certainly not Harry (and Ginny, for that matter, poor dear).  There assuredly wasn’t a Hufflepuff of either sex who wasn’t mad about the boy, although, loyally, no one made advances, and, loyally, Cedric pretended not to know, lest he trade too much on it.


I was devastated by his death.  Then again, the whole House were, and no one remarked my devastation more than anyone else’s.


And then there were the Carrows and the Death Eaters.  The people who had killed Cedric, and wished to kill us.  There was not a Hufflepuff – not even that disgrace to the name, Smith: not then, he didn’t turn tail and show the white feather until rather later – there was not a Hufflepuff who didn’t join dear Neville in the Resistance.


So, you see, I’ve seen what happens when the forms of law are exalted above actual right and justice.  And I have seen what happens when even the forms of law are set at naught.


After leaving school, I took the path that Nott took, and Malfoy – well, you’d not want the new legal system run wholly by Slytherins, would you.  I swotted up law in the Muggle and Magical worlds.  I eat my dinners and I became a wide-eyed white-wig, and took my blue bag in my trembling hand, and joined a criminal chambers.


The law may be the second oldest profession.  It has a good deal in common with the eldest.


But what would you?  A return to the sort of legal system – if it can be called that, on either head, which I pray leave to doubt – that we had during the emergencies and the Secrecy State, with judges (if you can call them that) ranged like so many civil-law Frogs on a bench, acting as prosecutorial supernumeraries, and no real advocates to be had – or heard?


The common law is the foundation of the liberties of the subject.


And the advocate – for the prisoner and for the Crown alike – must advocate.  Let me tell you, sunshine, advocacy’s not a bloodless game and a critique of pure reason.  Oh, if judges and juries were perfectly wise and perfectly just … but if that were so, we’d not want advocates, or trials as such.  They aren’t and we do.  And because Wizardkind are all of us fallible, it is not enough to appeal to sweet reason and dry logic.  Oh, that can be effective, in its place.  But it isn’t commonly enough, not by a good long chalk it isn’t.  Juries, and judges, want to be seduced to virtue.  Wit helps: a witty barrister is a winning barrister, nine times in ten, although God preserve me from a judicial wit with a character for humorous interjections from the Bench.  So does passion and sincerity and the more abstruse organ-stops where the vox humana swells: sincerity is very important, and if you can fake that, you can do anything with a jury.  Shocked, are you?  Well, just you consider this.  The alternative – which I’ve seen, and lived through – is a system without advocacy, without examination and cross-examination, without jurors, without humanity and mercy and justice and anything that’s not either done by rote or dictated by political expediency.  Consider that quietly, and then tell me you’re shocked that advocacy is a combat for the emotional as well as the reasoned assent of judge and jury.  No, I thought not.


I learnt that lesson early, and I learnt it well.  After my third appearance in Court – yes, my third – my leader presented me with a red bag, and I was marked as a high flyer.


If the price of that is having people of the stamp of Hermione Prefect-Perfectly think me the town broom, so be it.



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2 comments or Leave a comment
noeon From: noeon Date: May 27th, 2010 11:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
Evidently, a shocking number of Wizards and Witches have never actually seen a badger in action. Yes. They are more fearsome than the hounds of hell.

And I love it that she's a virgin and thought to be the town broom. And somehow, "sunshine," in her mouth, is glorious.

Edited at 2010-05-27 11:34 pm (UTC)
wemyss From: wemyss Date: June 5th, 2010 07:00 pm (UTC) (Link)

She's remarkable.

Just as well you forced me to elaborate her. Glad you did.
2 comments or Leave a comment