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A Fragment, From A Dreamt Post-War World. - Wemyss's Appalling Hobby:
From the Party Guilty of Committing 'Gate of Ivory, Gate of Horn'
A Fragment, From A Dreamt Post-War World.


‘Ah. Mr Potter. Our political master.’

‘Balls, Snape. What the devil are you doing here in Boyle Row?’

‘Given that – with the exception of the recording studio in which the Weird Sisters preserve their appalling noise for an unfortunate and misbegotten prosperity, and the offices of Wizarding Heritage, which ought by rights to prevent precisely that – the whole of Boyle Row is given over to tailors’s shops, I should have hoped that even the Gryffindor mind might have been able to guess.’

‘You buy clothes? Sorry, I’d simply assumed you had the one set of robes and a well-rehearsed cleaning charm.’

‘And the very selfsame dingy, grey Y-fronts, I suppose, that your father and dogfather exposed me as wearing? I see your charm as well as your intellect is hereditary.’

‘Actually, some of us have grown up, over the years. As some of us, clearly, have not. You will excuse my surprise at the idea that you’re varying your monochromatic wardrobe – particularly at Peeves & Fawkes or at Peakes & Ravenclaw or Scrimgeour Filch Avebury or –’

‘I see that, to Black’s and your father’s odious arrogance, you have added Lucius’s snobbery. Evidently, you are prospering under your husband’s tuition. Be assured, Potter, that I can manage to scrape together Galleons enough to purchase something off the peg, although I’m not in your and Draco’s bespoke league.’

‘I don’t doubt you can manage quite well, Severus. The question is, Why are you suddenly showing an interest in your turn-out? I have no choice, I have to go home to Draco every night, but I never would have taken you for the glass of fashion and the mould of form.’

‘As Ginevra Weasley Creevey and your charming husband must have told you, I am to appear shortly before the Wizengamot on charges.’

‘Good God, Snape. Now what?’

‘I hexed a Muggle.’

‘Hardly grounds for a State trial, even with your rather equivocal record.’

‘It was John Prescott.’

‘In that case, I’m sure Draco will defend you personally. As will Minerva, I’d think, and all their High Tory acquaintance. Whatever possessed you to do such a mad thing?’

‘The little man has had the impertinence, as part of his housing plan and overall harrowing of the North, to slate Spinner’s End for demolition.’

‘Right. Come with me.’

‘Am I being remanded into custody to await the hearing, then?’

‘Oh, don’t be an ass, Severus. I’m taking you to Figg & Wimple.’

‘Pray, why so?’

‘Introduce you to my tailor. You’ve earned it.’

‘Potter –’

‘If you’d hexed Blunkett with it, or Peter Bloody Mandelson, I’d buy you the damned suit as well.’

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8 comments or Leave a comment
lasayla From: lasayla Date: September 14th, 2005 11:21 am (UTC) (Link)
I spend time on Livejournal to avoid work, damn you!
wemyss From: wemyss Date: September 14th, 2005 02:06 pm (UTC) (Link)

(Chortle). Yes, Yes, I Know.

But then, for the past month, you've had the cricket for that, now, haven't you.

What I'm really dreading isn't so much the reactions of the politically astute to this pastiche, it's the cries of outrage from my tailor at the caricatures.
magic_at_mungos From: magic_at_mungos Date: September 20th, 2005 08:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh please let him hex Peter bloody Mandelson into next week. I will weep tears of joy - the odious little man.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: September 20th, 2005 08:52 pm (UTC) (Link)

Oh, Why Stop There?

Set him loose in - and on - all Brussels, whilst we're at it.
magic_at_mungos From: magic_at_mungos Date: September 20th, 2005 08:54 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Oh, Why Stop There?

Because I don't have a deep irrational dislike for many other politians :D
wemyss From: wemyss Date: September 20th, 2005 09:20 pm (UTC) (Link)


I thought that was what politicians were for.
magic_at_mungos From: magic_at_mungos Date: September 20th, 2005 09:23 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Odd.

I expect so. Except that requires me to summon up some iota of feeling for them and I have much better things to do with my time.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: September 20th, 2005 09:27 pm (UTC) (Link)


For which see icon.

You're quite right, attention only encourages the buggers.
8 comments or Leave a comment