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A Proposal. - Wemyss's Appalling Hobby:
From the Party Guilty of Committing 'Gate of Ivory, Gate of Horn'
A Proposal.
Or even a proposition.

H/D [EDITED: AND ALL OTHER POTTERFIC] writers [WHETHER HET, SLASH, or GEN], I wd propose as follows, that you submit, if you like, a half-drabble or drabble (it can be purely episodic, a mere scene, it can be epic, bawdy, or involve nothing more momentous than, [E.G.] Harry and Draco, after the war, having tea, I don't care), either in comments here or with a link in comments here, by the 14th instant.

At which point, I'll post a list of authors [NOT FANFIC WRITERS, HOWEVER BRILL; I MEAN SUCH AUTHORS AS, OH, HOMER, DICKENS, SAYERS, AUSTEN, PRATCHETT] and allow all who are so inclined, whether they submitted a drabble or half-drabble or not, to rewrite the pieces of their choice in the styles of one or more of the listed authors.

Anyone in the least piqued by this?

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31 comments or Leave a comment
dolorous_ett From: dolorous_ett Date: October 6th, 2005 05:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
If you hadn't stipulated H/D, I would. But as it is I'm just going to have to stand on the sidelines and wish you well. I'm not cut out for romance, and the motivations of that particular pair are beyond me.

Which is not to say that I don't mind seeing it developed by experts in the field...
wemyss From: wemyss Date: October 6th, 2005 05:56 pm (UTC) (Link)

Then I Shan't So Stipulate.

You're quite right.

I shall edit.
(Deleted comment)
wemyss From: wemyss Date: October 6th, 2005 09:15 pm (UTC) (Link)


You're in. Lovely. You shan't regret it.
sgt_majorette From: sgt_majorette Date: October 7th, 2005 06:27 pm (UTC) (Link)

Barbie Doll Theatre Presents: A Drableau

a drabble in the form of a tableau...

She's from New Orleans. He's old and gay and his family has been getting on his nerves. His mother likes her. Oh well, can't have everything. At least the old Gorgon has the decency to drop dead as soon as the boy is born. The Count lives long enough to pass on his aristocratic mien and attitude to his son. He is the only one of the Countess' consorts to die of natural causes (and the only one whose child she bears), but they all die quite content.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: October 9th, 2005 01:44 pm (UTC) (Link)

Flying Zabinis!

Lovely. I look forward to seeing what others make of this.
From: lucentliz Date: October 9th, 2005 01:26 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm interested :)
wemyss From: wemyss Date: October 9th, 2005 01:42 pm (UTC) (Link)


You're in, then (I said it was simple).
themolesmother From: themolesmother Date: October 9th, 2005 04:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
Like this idea. Will let you have something in the next day or two.

wemyss From: wemyss Date: October 9th, 2005 05:06 pm (UTC) (Link)


kaalee From: kaalee Date: October 10th, 2005 02:10 am (UTC) (Link)
I'd like to list this in hogwarts_today tonight, what would you call this proposition?

wemyss From: wemyss Date: October 10th, 2005 01:58 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank You.

I do apologise that I did not see this post timely. I believe that Saturday's HT carried the item, courtesy of tarie, but of course I'll take all the publicity I can get. If the challenge needs a name, perhaps we can call it, 'Pastiche Plumes and Quotable Quills: If Famous Authors Rewrote Your Potterfic', or something similar. (If you or anyone has a better idea, I am, as a discreet few young men in my university days could have told you, easy.)
jennavere From: jennavere Date: October 10th, 2005 10:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
Brilliant! So (just to be sure that this poor American understood), I write a short scene (will be HD, naturally), post it here, and then you will post a list of authors and I can choose one and rewrite my fic in their style?

Sounds like a wonderful challenge. If there is still room, count me in!
wemyss From: wemyss Date: October 11th, 2005 07:08 am (UTC) (Link)

Good Morning.

That's it - save that you may choose to rewrite your fic, anyone else's, or several, in the style of any author or authors on the list.

Here's the sort of thing I mean:

So glad to have you on board.
nineveh_uk From: nineveh_uk Date: October 11th, 2005 04:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
Technical question: do you adhere to the rule that the half-/drabble must be exactly 50/100 words in length? But otherwise, hello, and I’ll be in, if I may.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: October 11th, 2005 04:45 pm (UTC) (Link)

Exactitude? Perish The Thought.

Leave that to Brussels and the Frogs and that lot. When has precision ever been a virtue in the Anglosphere?

So, no, I shan't be adhering to any rules of exactitude. I really just wished to make it clear that I don't expect epics, as that would be a bit much for the re-writes (which have no word limit at all).

Welcome aboard.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: October 14th, 2005 04:57 pm (UTC) (Link)

And My Own Offering: A Fragment, Just Over Drabble Length.

‘Green tea, love.’
‘Oh, don’t be ridiculous, Potter.’
‘Look, I know it’s not as posh as what you –’
‘That has nothing to do with it.’ Draco looked uneasily towards the ranked caddies and chests of his own personal teas: Ceylon from Nuwara Eliya, Darjeeling, Keemung, Lapsang Souchong, Formosa Oolong, China White….
‘It’s good for you.’
‘I don’t like green.’
Harry stared.
‘You’re an Old Slytherin.’
‘You don’t like the colour green.’
‘No. Not since….’
‘Ah. The colour of death?’
‘The colour of life. Of leaf in Springtide and mossy pools. Don’t let it be twisted and tainted.’
‘But –’
‘Or would you rather my eyes were red?’
‘Pour the damned tea, Potter.’
Their hands touched as Harry passed his lover a cuppa, and they exchanged smiles.
(Deleted comment)
wemyss From: wemyss Date: October 15th, 2005 06:11 pm (UTC) (Link)

We'll Miss Your Wit.

But gladly accept your applause.
wemyss From: wemyss Date: October 15th, 2005 06:10 pm (UTC) (Link)

First Batch of MY Rewrites / Pastiches Is Up.

themolesmother From: themolesmother Date: November 5th, 2005 03:31 pm (UTC) (Link)

I know it's late, but hope it's not too late

I had it ready, but the infernal machine had other ideas. It's (allegedly) all better now. Here is an out-take from my current fanfic, "Come the Revolution", set during HBP, featuring Slytherin 6th year Tracey Davis and Hermione Granger.

The figure silhouetted in the doorway paused.

“Sorry. I didn’t -.”

“Lumos.” The light illuminated the face of the last person she expected to find sneaking into the Quidditch changing rooms after curfew. “Granger?”

The Gryffindor looked awful. The bushy brown hair stuck up in all directions, her face was blotchy and her eyes red and swollen.

“I’ll just go.”

Here was someone who looked even more miserable than she felt and sod the Gryffindor/Slytherin divide. “You look like you could do with a drink.” She held up the bottle of firewhisky.

“I don’t –“ Granger began, then checked herself. She sat next to Tracey, who conjured a glass, filled it, and held it out. Granger took it with a nod of thanks. She sipped cautiously, choked, then broke into a violent fit of coughing. Tracey thumped her on the back. “That stuff is strong!”

“Takes more than half of shandy to drown your sorrows. Go on, get it down your neck.” Granger gave her a watery smile, took another sip, then another, and finally a hearty gulp. “What brings you here? Thought you’d be celebrating, seeing as your boyfriend’s the hero of the hour. You could hear them singing Weasley is our King clear to the Forbidden Forest.”

“He isn’t my boyfriend.”

“Had a row?”

Granger took another gulp of firewhisky. “We’re just friends.”

“I thought you’d asked him to Slughorn’s party?”

“Who said I was?” Granger snapped.

“Parkinson overheard Parvati Patil going on about it in Charms.” Granger looked sick.

“That means everyone knows by now.”

“’They don’t call her the Daily Prophet for nothing.”

“Oh God.” Granger drained her glass. Tracey obligingly filled it. “I want to kill him. Bastard.” It didn’t take NEWT standard Divination to predict that the expected finale of the Granger and Weasley saga would be slightly postponed.

“What happened?”

“I’d rather not talk about it,” Granger replied, stiffly.

“Suit yourself.”

Granger eventually broke the awkward silence. “Yes, I did ask him to Slughorn’s party. I’ve been waiting for ages for him to pluck up the courage to, you know, and I thought if I broke the ice, one thing might lead to another. Then it all went wrong. He started being really mean to me for no reason, and tonight he was snogging Lavender Brown.”

“Cleansweep Seven?”


With a mental roll of the eyes, Tracey explained. “Cleansweep Seven, like the school brooms because –“

“- anyone can ride her!” Granger finished. Her face crumpled, and Tracey braced herself for a flood of tears. Instead the Gryffindor dissolved into giggles, Tracey found herself joining in, and soon they were helpless with laughter.

Granger wiped her eyes. “Poor stupid Ron.”

“Don’t know what you see in him.”

Granger considered this with drunken gravitas. “Neither do I really.”

“You’re the brightest witch in the school. While him - thick as two short planks.”

“And the emo - emotional range of a teaspoon,” Granger added with careful precision.

“That big?” This set them off again. As the laughter subsided, they clinked glasses and drained them. Refilling the glasses, Tracey commented, “You can do better.”

Granger snorted. “Davis, please.” The accompanying gesture encompassed the top of her bushy head to the tips of her sensible shoes.

“Bollocks! You just don’t try. Except sometimes. Yule Ball, fourth year.”

“Too much trouble. Ron likes me without all that messing about. Mind you, so did Victor.” Granger sounded as though the thought had only just struck her.

“See? You can do better than Weasley.”

“S’right. Fuck Ron Weasley.”

“Rather not, thanks.” That triggered more laughter. Pulling herself together, Tracey caught Granger studying her with one of those sudden flashes of clarity only achieved by the totally pissed.

“What about you?”

Now it was Tracey’s turn to say, I’d rather not talk about it thanks, but things had gone too far. “Fair question. Got a couple of hours?”

wemyss From: wemyss Date: November 5th, 2005 05:49 pm (UTC) (Link)

Never Too Late.

(As Lord Mounteagle said to Guy Fawkes.)

And worth waiting for, in any case.

All right, you lot! Step up and rewrite!
31 comments or Leave a comment